


Save Me

by Imriel_Montreve



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Xeno, Xenobiology, broken vows, domestic!Kankri, minor gill play, nooks and bulges
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-18
Updated: 2013-12-18
Packaged: 2018-01-05 02:56:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1088774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imriel_Montreve/pseuds/Imriel_Montreve
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is Kankri Vantas and Cronus Ampora was your absolute salvation. You never knew pity could hurt this much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Save Me

**Author's Note:**

> To the song Bluer Than Midnight by TheThe, the embodiment of my CroKri ship

_Save me, save me, save me, save me, save me, save me..._  

Your name is Kankri Vantas and Cronus Ampora is your absolute salvation. No one cared like he did, no one gave you the time of day like he did. He listened to you, even if only it was (#TW, #semi-offensive sexual slang) to 'score.' In turn, you supposed, he was comforted in the fact that you were the only one who took his identity-issues seriously; but how could one so compassionate and understanding as yourself ever discount one's issues and risk offending them? The two of you were alone together, as much as it hurt to admit, and after the game and the soul-shattering encounter with your descendant-turned-kismesis, Ampora had been there to buffer your confusion. He listened to you and let you talk, never once interrupting you or (#painful insults, #previous-life shaming, #references to a tragic story in which a rebellion ended horribly) calling you 'Insufferable.' He took it all in, and once you had finished he had told you what he thought and held you.

You knew Cronus Ampora in ways others did not. 

_The candles are lit, the curtains are drawn,_ and you can't believe you're sitting alone in the dark waiting for Cronus. You felt stupid glaring at the dwindling wax-sticks, whose flame cast flickering shadows against your face. Marooned in the center of the table was the grubloaf you had made to resemble (#frank discussion of human culture in comparison to trollian) meatloaf, though you had no idea what constituted as 'meat' and you worried that they ate purrbeast or hoofbeast, not that you would ever think ill of the humans for whatever manner of meat the consumed, though you had a sensitive palette and not many new foods agreed with you.

_There's still no sign of rain nor dawn_. The bite of embarrassment from this, preparing a human dinner for Cronus to surprise him, made your skin itch. You were sure you knew him well enough that you wouldn't offend him by this, but as the night wore on closer to day, doubt gnawed at your insides. 

That was the thing about Cronus; you never knew if he would come to you or not, and that triggered you more than anything else. It wasn't so much triggering as it was hurtful. You knew Cronus was (#shaming #sexual slang) a 'man-whore,' and you promised yourself you wouldn't let that get to you, but deep down you had always been one to lie to yourself.

Just as tiny rivulets of red began to slash down your face, you heard the click of the door and the soft thud of Cronus' signature rolling gait. He came into the block, sauntering in with all of his indolent Ampora ease, one hand crammed in the pocket of his leather jacket. His mouth was absent of his unlit cigarette, something later your found he had done just for you. As soon as he pushed off his jacket -- dampened from the night's musk -- the chair behind you was knocked over once you pushed yourself up and ran towards him.

_Our lips touch, our limbs entwine._

Your lips mirror Cronus' and every memory you held of this shared intimacy with him burns brightly inside you, remade. He always had the trace of salt that came from the very essence of his regal blood, his dark ocean of triggers that no matter what identity he fitted himself with would always be a true part of his being. His kiss was cool and gently fierce, a thing you craved so deeply when denied to you. Cronus slid his hand up to cradle your head, tangling long fingers in your hair. His other arm snaked around your waist and locked you to his body, kissing you breathless. 

The kiss ceased and the man for whom you broke your vows pressed his forehead against yours, panting with you while you held his face.

"Where were you," you breathe. Trigger warning: you didn't care, you just wanted his full lips back against yours. You kissed for an indiscernible amount of time, softly running your thumbs over the membranes of his fins, before he could answer.

"Eri," he got out before desire won over and he forced his lips back into yours. His continuing response was broken by several demanding kisses. "He has -- Captor problems -- and -- he has 'em -- bad." 

You can't stop the nip of your teeth against both of Cronus' lips, drawing his sharp, cold blood. The heated surge of jealousy onsets too quickly sometimes for you to control, especially when Cronus talked about Captors. You were too angry that Mituna was Cronus' first, not that you had the right.

You, Kankri Vantas, needed to check your privilege. 

"Easy, Chief." Cronus knew you well enough to know exactly why you had acted out; he knew the darkness you kept inside. "You knovw I'm all about you."

His fingers find their way under your sweater and to your grubscars, stroking softly in ways that made bursts of shivers run through you. "I cooked for you," you shudder out with a gentle moan to break your voice. He looks over your shoulder at the table.

"A candle-lit dinner just for me?" He chuckles softly, "Kan, you're so perfect. But... vwhat do you say vwe heat it up later, vwork up an appetite?"

He sits you on the edge of the table and forces his hips between your knees while you dwell on how much you love his accent --accent, not impediment, Cronus was far too perfect for an impediment. Pressed flush, you could feel his bulge straining at the fly of his pants, already unsheathed. You whine and hang onto him with your knees, feeling the tension in your muscles all the way up to your groin. You could never deny Cronus, no matter how scared you were that it was just a one-night-stand, a small fling. He was, after all, your matesprit. He had been since you broke your vows for him.

The tears began again, steadily and quietly. Your lips stay pursed to hold back any whimper that might shake forth from your weak body. Cronus drags his cool tongue against your cheek to clear your tears, heart-breakingly tender.

"Kankri," he picks you up and holds you, your head cradled into his shoulder. You register him moving and when you re-open your stinging eyes you see him above you. You end up against the cushion of the sofa and wrested out of your sweater. "Are you gonna cry e'ry time vwe pail?"

"No," you repy but it sounds like you're pleading, _"But the ghosts that haunt me--"_

"Us, I knovw, _vwon't leavwe our minds_ , Chief. I told you vwe're in this together. You havwe your issues and I havwe mine, and vwe svwore that vwe vwouldn't evwer let one another face 'em alone."

Cronus holds you and kisses your bare flesh, affirming every little thing of what he's said. He has held you through more pain than you ever thought possible, knowing deep down all those 'Insufferable' sweeps had turned you bitter and needy. Cronus Ampora gave you his entire self, apologizing all the while for how broken he was, but promising that he was fully yours.

"Are you still regrettin' breakin' your," he struggled with the word, "vowvs for a rake like me?" Cronus' voice held remorse and he stilled above you, no longer kissing and skimming over your flesh with his fingertips.

Yes, you still hurt over your vows, the desecration of the self you had spent so long creating, but your irrevocable actions were what got you Cronus, and you could never regret that.

"No," is all you can say before you're pulling him back down to kiss at his cheeks, his fins, his sticky lips smeared with the remnants of his blood. His hands clawed from your grubscars to the dip of your hips, Cronus chuckling at your hard shudder. He teased the high waist of your pants lower and ever lower so that he could kiss your entire torso before pulling them completely off. You were naked now, but even clothed you were always naked to Cronus. He laid you bare and took you in, and you could never not be thankful for that.

Cronus rose above you, straddling your hips. He pulled off his tight shirt, showing off his toned body which you couldn't help but drag your fingertips over. Free from the confines of cotton, Cronus' gills flared up in deep violet slashes against his ribs, three on either side starting high on his sides and ending at his natural waist. You card your finger tips through the folds, making Cronus shiver this time. 

"You're sure this doesn't trigger you, right?" You can't help but ask, the wear of time making you doubt your knowledge. You didn't want to offend him. You didn't want to--

"I'm sure, Kan, yeah. The whole sea-dvweller anatomy might bother me any other day, but not vwhen you're a touchin' me like that." He moans when you trace through them again. 

You then trace lower to the taunt V of his hips to drag his pants down. Cronus looked down to you, and by his gaze you could register the carnality carried in your own. He was already fully unsheathed and his bulge coiled and tucked itself into the crease of his leg, smearing a violet haze against his grey skin. The sight was enough to make your nook give a hard clench, wresting a whine from you.

Heat built in your groin, magnifying when Cronus dropped his hand to run cool fingers over your bone-sheath. He coaxed your bulge forth, the bright traitor-crimson catching the dispersed ambient light from the candles, still flickering in their hollows. He licked his lips at the view you presented before him: a burning blush that you could feel all the way up to your pointed ears, your bulge coiling and snapping for him, and your nook, swollen with the arousal coursing through your veins and dripping translucent red.

A gasp was tore from you when his cold fingers parted the slit of your nook, and you arched hard when two of them pushed inside. No matter how many times Cronus did that, you would never get over that sensation of violation, that intrusion. Cronus withdrew from you and brought his fingers up for you to see; the red of your genetic material drenched his hand, thick and lustrous.

He caught your gaze before sucking them into his mouth to clear the red mess away, humming in approval at your taste.

Motions like that were always your undoing. The triggering vulgarity, the purely SEXUAL way Cronus acted played to the portion of your pan that was hard-wired to your bulge. Cronus' lips were crashed against yours as you pulled him down in a wave of need. Your blood-pusher hurt too much to have him so far from you; you needed him now, reaffirmation that he was yours.

"Skippin' the foreplay, chief?" Cronus chuckles and you promptly shut him up. He senses your need and pulls away. "Kankri, this isn't because you're horny, is it?" 

His arms wrapped around you tightly and you were lifted and pressed against his chest. Cronus inhaled your scent deeply, tracing the length of your neck with the tip of his nose. His breath shuddered out of him in a heavy sigh that chilled you; you clung to him in desperation.

"Kankri, you're my whole ocean," Cronus kisses your forehead. "Don't forget that, evwer."

Cronus extricated himself from your hold, the loss stinging. How could you believe this when he took himself away? How could you begin to doubt him...? He shooshed you gently, expression loving and eyes lidded with compassion. He made you ache from your core again, deep and sharp. Without him you were hollow, empty. Your fragility was --without your knowledge-- controlled by him; present, he made you strong, absent, your entire resolve crumbled.

Cronus gripped his bulge and eased it towards your nook. Your gazes met for an immeasurable length of time in which an unspoken consent was passed. Your inhale turned into a hiss, then a cry as Cronus filled you, your nook forced to accommodate his thick bulge. Finally, he sank to the hilt, hips flush with your own. Cronus swore and stilled to take in the sensation, the cool length of his bulge twisting deep inside your nook.

Cronus' highblood status on the hemospectrum and sea-dweller race made for cold, cold blood that kept his body temperature much lower than yours.

"Hotter 'n hellfire," Cronus groaned in reference to your heat. You look up to him, lips trembling. You try to form words, but your pan was concentrated with the firing synapses provoking your hips to rock down onto his bulge. Cronus took your hint and began to thrust.

_"Save me,"_ you moaned with each burst of pleasure pumped into your body, submitting to Cronus, taking what he freely gave unto you. 

_"Save me, save me, save me."_ Thrust by thrust your tears returned, thrust by thrust you held him tighter, crying out against his cheek.

You held Cronus in any manner you could in fear that he would drift away. Hair was tangled and pulled. Kisses and tastes stolen. Cronus held your thighs and rocks into you in an immaculate rhythm, controlled and measured. _"Save me."_ You gasp out, one last time before Cronus stills his thrusting against your warm body. His bulge still writhed inside, not getting the memo.

"Savwe you from vwhat, Chief?" He murmured to you, his sweet whispers falling from between his soft grey lips, past sharp teeth that in the back of your mind you wanted pushed into your skin, breaking it, marring you with Cronus' perfect touch.

_”From myself..."_

You had invested so much into Cronus, so much that you knew you would never have any one else like him in your eternal life. You constantly warred with the fear of losing him, the fear of not being GOOD enough for him. He could find someone better, someone that didn't talk as much, that wasn't so virginal and foreign to his "extracurriculars," someone that wasn't YOU. You had entertained the trepidation that Cronus had only entered a matespritship with you because you were available and needy, so he would always have someone to pail and bail. That he only cared because you yourself cared. That idea horrified you more than anything.

_"One sin leads to another one."_ And you meant it. You couldn't quit him.

Cronus brushed back your hair, kissing where the gentlest peak of your hairline began. His claws massage your scalp, soothing. Cronus could at once make you feel pity and a feeling that made him feel rather... lusus-like... and you weren't sure if a proper matesprit should make you feel such an emotion. In the end, you didn't give a damn for the tight lines of your quadrant.

You would take anything Cronus gave unto you, be it pale, pitch, or ashen.

You relaxed into his embrace as he lifted you against his body to softly sing in your aural husk. Cronus always sang to you, little made up things to soothe you or silly drabbles from his human movies to make you smile. You remembered in this moment that he loved your rare smile and made sure to tell you so.

_"Oh the harder vwe try,"_ he breathed, voice low and strong, _"VWe can nevwer nevwer find peace in this life."_  

You noticed your tears had stopped when Cronus paused to kiss your flushed cheeks, exhaling cool breath down your torso. He moved slow, taking his time to feel each slow inch of his bulge slide in and out of your tight nook, savoring each time your bodies met and stuck together from the heat and sweat they two of you generated together. He was gentle enough that all that came from your mouth were expressed pants, rather than the hard whines that normally accompanied pailing.

Cronus focused on your pleasure as much as his own, and you felt good, great, AMAZING to the point you couldn't tell when he ended and you began, the confines of skin and bone meaning nothing to you as you felt your pleasure ebb endlessly outwards.

_"I ask myself, where does lust come from? Is it something to yield to or be overcome?"_

He continued singing, voice faltering to pant as he neared climax. It occurred to you that this wasn't pailing...

Cronus was making love to you.

You gasp out his name, deep and sharp, pulling yourself against his body. Clawing his back, you rock your hips hard to meet him, movements clumsy and intemerate, chasing the release you knew was so close, that Cronus would bring you.

"Kankri, I'm comin'," your beloved matesprit moaned into your aural cavity, licking and then biting the shell softly as his even thrusts turned to blunt bucks.

Your whole body shook in his grasp as you clung to him, finally giving in to culmination.

The entire world paused for this moment, your dark thoughts obliterated as you felt Cronus' genetics jet inside you -- he had never been one to properly use a bucket -- and FILL you to the point the clenching of your nook muscles forced the fluid back out and making a mess between you, not even counting the voluminous amount of tangible pleasure YOU released, which was near double that of Cronus'.

The ocean was in your climax, a gift given to you by Cronus. Pleasure welled through your body, up from your core to your heart, washing up over you. It receded before washing back over you, harder than the first, hard enough to make you clench your eyes shut and your claws into Cronus' thick skin. One last wave crashed over you, hot on the heels of the last, tides of adoration and bliss drowning you sweetly, driven by the gravitation of Cronus.

Together you collapsed against the wet sofa, panting against one another, chests competing for space.  The man that held you bore his gaze into yours, and in the candle light you could make out the ridge of his iris, slightly greyer than the milky white of his sclera. You wished you could remember the gold and violet they once were, when they were filled with life. No. You shouldn't say that. You and he may be dead, but that did not mean Cronus had lost any exuberance. He still was excitable, and curious, and your remembered all the reasons you loved him so dearly.

You knew his bulge was sheathing when he grit his teeth, both of you hissing at the discomfort. You knew that if he could control it, he would. Cronus pulled you onto his chest so that you wouldn't have to feel the quickly cooling spot you two had made -- now you would have to replace ANOTHER piece of furniture because of your "activities" -- and drew the throw from the back of the sofa over your bare backside.

He knew you didn't like to be naked and kept mindful of it.

With your aural shell pressed against his chest, you could hear the unexplainable thud of his blood-pusher. You didn't care that logic just didn't work, you did NOT. You had spent too much of your life seeking answers to everything and it was tiring. For once, you just accepted it.

Palms and cheek flush with his chest, you murmur quietly, _"I ask myself, why can't love ever touch my heart like fear does?"_

Cronus sits up ever so slightly to look at you. "Vwhaddaya mean, Kan?"

You couldn't find the words to explain it, not without wrenching yourself open and pouring out every dark thought Cronus had hinted on to. Not without hurting him.

The love would always have to be reminded, reaffirmed. You needed constant validation.

But the fear of losing him would always be there, always constricting your heart.

All you can do is repeat yourself. _"Why can't love ever touch my heart like fear does?"_

You are fully set up and cradled in his strong arms, barred to his chest. "Kankri Vwantas, I love you. You'vwe got nothin' to be scared of as long as I'm vwith you, and let's face it, that's forevwer."

You give him your feature "Be Real" look.

"I'm fuckin'-- Sorry, sorry, but I'm serious, Kan, novw that I'vwe got you, I'm not lettin' go." He pulls you tighter and kisses at your cheek. "I lovwe you, and if you don't care for my human shit, I'm FLUSHED for you, I PITY you, and you're my matesprit. You're the only quadrant I care about."

"A proper troll should put equal effort into all of their quadrants lest--"

"Kankri," Cronus says sharply to cut him off. Cronus rarely interrupted Kankri during serious matters. "Do I look like I care about bein' a "Proper Troll"? I don't even fuckin' feel like one. So let me focus on you, alright?"

"I want to!" you snap, the words coming out on their own, the proverbial cork coming off the theoretical bottle that you shoved all your feelings into. "But every time you are late, every time you are gone, I cannot help but have my doubts!"

Cronus gave a frustrated sigh. "Do you not trust me enough that I won't run off and fuck anythin' I can get a piece of?"

"I do trust you!" You could feel the tears biting at your eyes again.

"Then vwhat is the problem?!" He snapped right back. Cronus could normally keep his cool, but you two were close enough that you fed from each other's emotion; your distress was getting under Cronus' gills.

"It's myself that I do not trust!"

When you broke into tears, all of the thunderous tension building in the cloud between you discharged. Cronus ducked to try and see your eyes, crooning softly. "Oh Kan, vwhat does that mean? Don't be afraid to tell me. Do you... not vwanna be my matesprit...?"

You cannot stomach the hurt in his voice. Wrapping your arms around you core, you try to take a steadying breath. "No, Cronus, I assure you it is not that I want our matesprit ship to end."

His sigh of relief eased both of you.

"What I mean is... I do not think that I am good for you, good enough that is. That you can have whoever you want, so why are you with me?"

Cronus decides to hold back the laughter when he realizes you're serious. "Kankri, vwhere in the hell did you get such a ridiculous idea?  You'vwe seen hovw many shits Meenah gives about me, the guy who VWAS my best friend is novw a brain dead imbecile, I'm probubbly on Makara's hit list, your vwanna-be lusus Rim Job vwants to gut me for "soiling your vwovws," do I need to go on? Kan, I cannot get "vwhoever I vwant" because one, I'm not vwell liked, and tvwo, vwhy vwould I vwant ANYONE who isn't you?" He takes a breath, tongue-tied.

"So..." you decide to look at him "You're not with me because I am the only one around?"

"NO! I'm vwith you because I lovwe you, Kankri V!" He holds your face and smooches you hard -- smooching, you had learned, was what he called it when he scrunched your face up and planted a big, wet kiss on your lips.

When he pulls back, you try and give him a smile. "Look at me I'm Kankri V, lousy with virginity," you sing-song, parodying his human movie.

"Sea! That is vwhy I lovwe you, Kan. You make me happy!" He laughs and falls with you onto the sofa, play growling and biting, trying to tickle you.

Cronus could be like a child sometimes in the best sense of the word -- whereas when you were called childish it was because you were stubborn and had selfish tendencies. He was relaxed and playful with you, as though his problems where miles away when you were there for him.

"I'm sorry, that I vwas late, and that I made you vworry. I really do lovwe you, Kan. You light up all the darkness in me. You make me feel okay vwith bein' who I am, yanno?"

You pet his hair, tucking a few strands behind his ear, fully reassured. "I do not think you understand just how happy hearing that makes me."

Cronus' smile melts you, wry and handsome, the corners of his eyes crinkling as his joy lit his whole face.

You give him a kiss, calm and soft. It wasn't needy or frantic, nor hesitant. He made you feel comfortable, he made you happy.

 

You, Kankri Vantas, were completely whole


End file.
